There was a morning years ago when I was sitting at my kitchen table drinking coffee, and this thought came out of nowhere:
This can’t be the rest of my life.
I remember almost wishing something awful had happened.
Because then at least I’d have a reason.
But nothing awful had happened.
My life looked fine.
And that was the part that made me feel crazy. I kept asking myself, Why can’t I just be happy? Why can’t I just be grateful?
That is one of the loneliest parts of the in-between: being trapped in a life that looks good on paper, while some quiet part of you already knows it does not feel like yours anymore.
I wrote about this more deeply for Tiny Buddha, in a piece about the moment you finally stop pretending you don’t know what you know.
You can read it here.
But here is what I want to say here:
If a quiet thought keeps coming back, don’t demand a five-year plan from it.
Don’t turn it into a courtroom case where you have to prove your life is bad enough to want something different.
Just ask:
What might this thought be trying to tell me?
Not, What do I have to do today?
Not, What needs to blow up?
Just:
What am I finally ready to stop ignoring?
Sometimes that is where the next honest step begins.
If you keep circling the same decision and thinking harder isn’t helping, start with my free audio: 3 Questions Your Overthinking Can’t Answer.