"Yeah, you don’t know what it is like when you try, and you try, and you try, and you don’t ever get there! Because you were born perfect and I was born like this." – Sam (character from I Am Sam)
In the movie I Am Sam, a mentally handicapped father, Sam, fights for custody of his seven-year-old daughter. Despite having a huge support system and being an incredible father, a social worker visits their house after his daughter, Lucy, tells a friend at school that she’s adopted. The social worker determines that the environment is unfit for Lucy and removes her from the home. At this point, Sam has a huge uphill battle to get his daughter back.
During this incredibly emotional and difficult time in Sam’s life, he faces many challenges. He wants a good lawyer, but he doesn’t have enough money to pay for one. Most of his friends are also mentally handicapped and aren’t able to be convincing character witnesses in court. The only other person who could testify, Lucy’s godmother, hasn’t left her home in years and doesn’t feel she is capable of leaving her house, let alone testifying in court. A lawyer decides to take on his case pro bono, but the trial is so difficult that Sam breaks down, convinced that he is not capable of taking care of his daughter. While Sam temporarily gives up, he ultimately presses on to stay in his daughter’s life.
Have you ever felt like you’re trying so hard, but just can’t seem to get “there”? Sometimes, it might feel like giving up is the only answer. So what are some things we can do when we feel like we’re trying as hard as we can, but getting nowhere?
- Remind yourself that you’re a human being, not a human doing. Sometimes, you’ll be super productive. Other times, you won’t. It’s an ebb and flow. If you need to sit and do nothing for a period of time, do that.
- Leave it alone for a while. Creating some mental space between you and the “thing” can sometimes bring fresh inspiration when you begin working on it again.
- Feel the “feels.” Think about how you will feel once you’ve accomplished the thing. Remember what prompted you to start the endeavor. This can help increase your energy and give you a push forward.
- Don’t compare yourself to others. Nothing will zap your energy like comparing where you are to where others are. While you are intimately aware of your own setbacks and failures, you have no idea what others have gone through to get where they are.
- Touch a tree. Feel the sunlight, touch a tree, smell a flower— whatever. Sometimes, we forget to breathe and simply be.
Lastly, remember you aren’t alone. We all go through times of discouragement. Surround yourself with positive people and things.
When was a time you felt like you were trying so hard, but just couldn’t seem to get “there”? What did you do to overcome the feeling?
Today's blog post is an excerpt from The Way Back book series (Volume 1).
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